Not long after I got engaged I attended a large wedding expo with some friends where a lady handed me a brochure and said something about teeth whitening and Botox.

Who was she kidding, how ridiculous to consider Botox just for my wedding!!  But I did look at the brochure and thought, hmm… perhaps I should get my teeth whitened. I don’t have terrible teeth, but they are not movie star white by any means. They are just natural.

And so it went, the seed had been planted and I was adamant I would get my teeth whitened. Next came the the doubts about my face. I studied my face in the mirror and thought I’m ok for my age. I’m fair skinned so I don’t go in the sun too much, but yes I do have those fine wrinkly lines under my eyes. I’m nearly 30 and yes I’m actually showing my age. Prior to this I was completely content living in ignorance about my ageing face.

So that settled it, I was going to get Botox too.

What was I doing to myself? Thinking it was ok to spend probably over a grand for some things that may or may not make me look better.

I did a little research and thought no, it’s not for me. Also we didn’t have the spare money to spend on something that was only temporary and that extravagant.

I ended up looking online and found some highly recommended, yet pricey eye creams. I placed my order and thought this had better work. I know some girls wouldn’t blink twice but to me an over $50 small tube of eye cream is expensive, but I thought I’d give it a go. I ended up finding that it did help reduce the fine lines a little but only if you continuously used it. So I spared what was left and saved it up to start using 2 weeks prior to the wedding.

I also didn’t get my teeth whitened. I went to the dentist instead and just had them cleaned the week before the wedding.

Next came the spray tan…….

As I have said I am pale. I don’t tan, if I go in the sun, even if it’s just for 20 minutes, I burn. That being said I am ok with my paleness these days. I have learnt to except myself for who I am. I’ve had spray tans before, but I’m not that keen on them. If it’s not the right colour I tend to just look dirty, and if it is the right colour, there is the exfoliating and having to wait and do nothing for a few hours, and then smelling funny before you can have a shower and go to bed. There is also the fact that spray tans come off onto material, especially if you’re a bit sweaty and you’re wearing a white dress. You do the maths.

Even after those considerations I thought I’ll still do the tan and just get a light colour and test it out on my hens day. Which is exactly what I did, the colour was ok but then a day later I had a kind of rash come out on my wrists, shoulders and neck. My tan faded and so did my rash, so I took this as a sign that it wasn’t the right thing for me. I still didn’t want to look ghost white on my big day so a friend recommend a gradual moisturiser tan to me that worked well on her fair skin and didn’t streak. I gave it a go, and liked the result.

Stay True To Yourself

So what is it that leads us all to believing we have to be so fake on our big day? Yes of course you want to look perfect, but unfortunately, you like me are not. The sooner you accept that in life, the easier life gets.

At the end of the day you are marrying the person you love and as my dressmaker said to me when I hadn’t lost those few extra kilos I was hoping to, you’re husband to be is marrying the person he loves, he loves you for who you already are. He is not marrying you because you were able to loose those extra kilos in time. It can be easy to loose sight of the big picture throughout the whole process.

I had my makeup with false lashes, nails and hair done of course, I’m not saying don’t dress up at all, just think about what works for you. I wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin while still looking my absolute best, and I also wanted to stay true to myself.

I think I pulled it off, I didn’t feel like I was pretending to be someone I’m not. I felt happy and really that is the most important thing.

Get over what people tell you you should do, don’t believe every bridal blog or magazine about their “must do” lists in the lead up to your big day. Make up your own mind and do what feels right for you. And if you can I suggest shouting yourself a pre wedding massage, by this stage you more than deserve it.

Ruby xx

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